A woman walks into a room and stops short, stunned. The camera cuts to the kitchen counter, where a disaster has occurred: the top of the blender fell off mid-blending. There’s unidentified red goo all over the kitchen counter, dripping off the cabinets, pooling on the floor. The kid and his dad look up at Mom with guilty looks on their faces, while the dog sits at their feet, lapping up the free treat. The camera cuts back to mom, and she smiles, shakes her head. You can just hear her saying “Oh, my boys. Can’t do anything right.” Then she grabs the row of paper towels and, still smiling, begins cleaning up the mess, miraculously needing only one paper towel to clean the entire kitchen.

We have seen dozens of iterations of that same commercial while watching TV. Whether somebody is selling paper towels or socks or whatever, the commercial features a husband/father who is at best an enabler and at worst a buffoon, then shows the wife/mother who loves her man despite his many and obvious flaws. And it bugs me.

We men are fully capable of operating a blender without supervision, and it almost always results in something aside from abject disaster. We can do laundry without shrinking clothes or staining something pink most of the time. We are fully capable of making dinner as often as is necessary to keep everybody in the house fed and sane, and just because I have two pizza delivery places programmed into my phone doesn’t make me an exception. We are not buffoons. For the most part, I don’t think our wives would have married us if we had been, or at the very least they wouldn’t have made babies with us. So stop insulting us, random paper towel brand that I can’t remember meaning I can’t look up the commercial and link to it here. Us men are fully capable.

I mean, sure, there are some days where I’m sure Nicci shakes her head at what I’ve done and wonders why she puts up with me. There have been many days where I’ve dressed Aric, went to the kitchen to pack my lunch, and came out to see him wearing different clothes. Sometimes it’s because I dressed him in shorts on a 40 degree day, or put him in a sweatshirt when it’s going to be 90. And sometimes, it’s simply because I’m colorblind and come on. Just look at how I had him dressed!

Most mornings, though, I am able to very successfully and efficiently give Aric his breakfast. This morning, though, it happened. I picked up Aric’s milk to slide it closer to him, only I hadn’t screwed the cap on tightly enough (read: at all). Disaster. Milk everywhere. All over the kitchen table and kitchen floor, plus all over Aric’s pants and hands. So I grabbed my handy paper towels (Target brand, yo) and started sopping up the mess. While doing so, the dog came over to “help” on some sections of the floor right about the time I noticed something on Aric’s foot. Looking closer, I had to ask him out loud: “How did you get nutella on your foot?”

Just as I asked him that question, as milk was dripping off the table onto my wrist and the dog was licking the floor clean, I heard the baby gate blocking the basement stairs swing open. Busted. Nicci was coming upstairs from the shower. I froze and looked up at her. She walked into the kitchen and stopped and surveyed the scene. The dripping milk. The dog. The toddler with nutella on his foot, shoving a waffle down  his mouth. The dad, on his hands and knees, surrounded by wet paper towels. I was living a paper towel commercial.

Only I didn’t get the exasperated sigh, the defeatist smile, or the shaking of the head. Nicci just said “Oy” and kept walking to the bedroom.

See? Those commercials are completely unrealistic.

Thank you for reading Can I sell you this roll of paper towels? from Changing the Universe. If you like what you read, come over and leave some comment love! And THANK YOU for being a subscriber! --Nicci

Or, as your big brother likes to say, BOO-BEEBEES!! Which is an improvement from BOOBIES!!

This week was rough, little one. I spend all of Friday, Saturday, and Sunday in bed, the all day yesterday in bed again, but this time with the pukies. I finally called my doctor and was given the miraculous zofran! Within an hour of taking it last night, I was able to stomach some Gatorade and a half a sandwich. Which is good cause otherwise I’d be headed to the ER today.

Let’s just move on to the quiz, since I’m still feeling a bit weak and I have to save my energy for work!

How Far Along?: Seven weeks.

Weight Gain/Loss: As of today, I’m down .6 pounds from the starting weight. Which means I lost two pounds this week. Yeesh.

Maternity Clothes?: Nope. Though a couple pairs of already snug pants may need the B-Band soon.

Stretch Marks?: I’ll answer this once: My stomach looks like it’d been mauled by a baby bear from your brother. At this point, you can’t really make it worse!

Belly Button in or out? In.

Sleep? Eh. Could be better. And I basically want it all the time.

Movement: Just lots and lots of gas.

Food Cravings/Aversions: I hate food still. But lately I’ve been loving sub sandwiches from either Subway or Jimmy Johns. Turkey with cheese, lettuce, and mayo on white bread. Thankfully I married a former Subway sandwich artist so he’s been making me mock subs this week. When that’s the only thing I can stomach, it helps the budget.

Symptoms/Labor signs: Nausea. All the time. And now puking.

Gender Guess: Girl. After I puked for the first time yesterday I called Tim and told him to start buying pink shit.

Best Moment this week: Can I say none?

What I Miss: Eating.

What I’m Looking Forward To: Eating. Feeling better. Everyone promises me it will miraculously get better around 13 weeks. I know this. I remember this from Aric. But it’s SO HARD to remember it when I’m examining the inside of my toilet. (Speaking of which, guess which area of the house I neglect to clean most often?)

Milestones: My first pregnancy related puke.

Aric’s Corner: He’s been so awesome and cute lately. Which really sucks cause I’ve been in bed for most of the week. But when he comes in, he’s just so sweet and adorable. And I’ve gotten some extra cuddles from him while we  lay in bed and watch Cars.

Thank you for reading Baby Deux Week Seven: The Blueberry Week from Changing the Universe. If you like what you read, come over and leave some comment love! And THANK YOU for being a subscriber! --Nicci

That up there? The answer to “How are you feeling lately?” In fact, I’ll go so far as to say I’m feeling positively horrid.

(Just as a fair warning, this will be a whiny, cranky, cry-baby, woe-is-me post. Maybe skip it and come back tomorrow for the seven week update.)

So yeah, feeling awful. Physically AND emotionally. I am nauseous ALL. THE. TIME. Nothing helps. Eating doesn’t help. Unisom + Vit B6 takes the edge off. I just switched to gummy prenatal vites to see if that helps at all. But it’s all nausea all the time. No vomiting, though, so I guess that’s good. (eta: as of this morning, that’s no longer true. Ugh…) But there’s issues with the “other end” if you know what I mean.

I am CONSTANTLY tired. Knock down drag out tired. I don’t know if it’s because I don’t have the ability to sleep in late, roll into work at whatever time, leave 8 hours later, take a nap, eat dinner, go to bed like I did when I was pregnant with Aric.

But to be totally and completely truthful with you all? I hate this. I hate feeling sick all the time. I hate feeling tired constantly. I want nothing more than to cry my eyes out, then sleep for three days straight. I actually did just that over the weekend. I went home from work early on Friday and spent all of Friday and most of Saturday and Sunday in bed. I was both tired and completely depressed. I just didn’t want to leave the bed. For any reason. I want nothing to do with my computer or my sewing machine. They have just been sitting, collecting dust. I’m FREAKING OUT about starting school again this weekend while feeling this way. How in the hell am I going to get through an entire Saturday of class when I can barely make it through work?

And I hate that I hate this. I hate that here I am, with a surprise baby in my tummy that I’m constantly complaining about and am COMPLETELY unprepared for, and there are THOUSANDS of women out there DYING to be in my shoes. Dying to be feeling like I do, knowing that they are carrying a baby in their tummies.

I hate that here I am complaining about the new life in my tummy while my next door neighbor is fighting for his. Like I’m taking this little life for granted.

Don’t get me wrong, this baby is NOT unwanted by any means. It has just totally caught me off guard. Me, who very specifically planned out the procreation of Aric. Me, who just this past month was VERY vocal about how long we were planning on waiting to have #2. Me, Mrs. I Have My Life Planned Out Very Specifically Thank You Very Much.

Then there’s the guilt I feel for ignoring Aric so I can shut the bedroom door and rest. The guilt I feel for making Tim do all the work around the house (minus the cleaning. No one cleans around here ) (also, as I’m writing this, I just yelled at Tim for buying the wrong kind of potato chips after he did the grocery shopping, which I normally do, so add that to the list of guilts). The guilt I feel for not being as completely head-over-heels excited like I was for Aric.

I’m sure this is just those damn pregnancy hormones taking over. I hope it is. I hope I’m not developing antenatal depression. I mean, I have a lot of the symptoms, I just haven’t had them for more than a week (it all started last Monday). This HAS to be the hormones + the unexpectedness of it all. It has to be.

Right?

Or am I really just a terrible person for having all these feelings right now?

Please, someone tell me it will get better. Please tell me I’m not alone, and you felt this way, too, while pregnant.

Thank you for reading Not so hot. from Changing the Universe. If you like what you read, come over and leave some comment love! And THANK YOU for being a subscriber! --Nicci

If you saw on Facebook or Twitter or Instagram or my blog yesterday, you probably noticed we had a little announcement to make: We are indeed expecting Baby Deux sometime around the New Year.

As of today, I am six weeks along. Yes, it’s earlier than people traditionally like to tell, but I couldn’t keep it inside any longer. Mostly because all I’ve felt like tweeting lately has been things like: “Gonna vomit,” “I feel like vomiting,” “Tim’s popcorn actually SMELLS like vomit.” I figured you’d eventually catch on, so I came out right away.

I was telling someone last night that it was so much easier to keep Aric a secret (until 8 weeks anyway) because I wasn’t all YAY INTERWEBZ!!! three years ago. But with my no filter internetting, there was no way I could wait another two and a half weeks (TWO AND A HALF WEEKS!!!) until my OB appointment.

How am I feeling? Not great. Not great at all. I’m pretty much constantly nauseous. Mornings are the worst, then after dinner. I attribute the after dinner sickness to my prenatal vite and the morning sickness to not eating breakfast. But what can I say? NOTHING sounds good in the mornings. Actually, that’s a lie. Anything with bacon, eggs, and cheese are about the only thing I can stomach, besides crackers and Sprite. But sometimes even that makes me want to puke. And no, nothing has actually come back up yet, but it has to be soon. It has to be. Maybe it will make me feel better??

Oh, and I had nightmares all last night that I’m having twins. My sister has made a couple comments in passing “I hope it’s twins!!” “At 10 weeks, if your fundal height is measuring more like 17 weeks, that means you have TWINS!!” “If you have twins, you’ll have to VBAC them, I don’t know how to do a ceasarian. Well, I mean, I COULD cut along your scar from last time. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do.” Apparently she thinks she’s delivering this child. Or children, apparently.

Besides her comments, there was the SUPER CLEAR, DARK, NO QUESTION ABOUT IT pregnancy test. I used mid-afternoon pee, only about a day or two late, with JUST the teeny amount I could squeeze out at the time. And the “You’re Pregnant” line was way darker than the control line.

So yeah, all my dreams have been about twins. Which brings me to my mental health. But that’s a post all in itself, so I’ll save that for another day.

So, in conclusion, yes, we are expecting. Yes, I am sick. No, I have not vomited. Yes, I will post weekly updates. I’ve been doing them, actually, since I found out almost two weeks ago, just not publishing them. And yes, I will be pregnant at BlogHer this summer so I can laugh at all of your drunken escapades

Thank you for reading Yep, it’s true. Baby #2 from Changing the Universe. If you like what you read, come over and leave some comment love! And THANK YOU for being a subscriber! --Nicci

Hint: Watch all the way to the end.

Thank you for reading Wordless Wednesday: My Toddler Can Read Edition from Changing the Universe. If you like what you read, come over and leave some comment love! And THANK YOU for being a subscriber! --Nicci

One night, early in our relationship, Tim and I were out driving. I don’t know where we were going or where we were coming from, but for some reason I CLEARLY remember the EXACT on-ramp we were on when the following discussion took place:

Tim: Did I ever tell you my Green Day Story?

Nicci: No! (Excited thinking he once got to meet Billie Joe Armstrong)

Tim: Once, during school, I was watching VH1 and they were showing a Behind the Music on Green Day. Then I changed the channel to MTV and they were showing a Green Day music video. I got all concerned that one of them had died or something. But it turned out, they were all fine.

Nicci: O_O

Tim: What?

Nicci: That’s it? That’s your story?

Tim: Yea. It was just a coincidence that they were on the same day.

Nicci: O_O You have got to be kidding me. You TITLED that story? You turned an inconsequential, coincidental happenstance into a TITLED story?

Tim: I’m never telling you another story again.

Nicci: THANK GOD!!

And thus, The “Tim’s Green Day Story” Story was born. Which is WAY better than the original story. And now, every time Tim (or I) tells a stupid story, the other one responds with “Did I ever tell you my Green Day story?”

Thank you for reading Did I ever tell you “Tim’s Green Day Story?” from Changing the Universe. If you like what you read, come over and leave some comment love! And THANK YOU for being a subscriber! --Nicci

I just realized today, as I was writing my speaker bio for Blog Her ’12 (insert HOLYCRAPI’MSPEAKINGATBLOGHER freak-out here), that I’ve been blogging in some form or another since 2004. Eight years! I started over at LiveJournal (no really, it still exists!) and eventually moved my way to Blogger, and now WordPress.

I was feeling a bit nostalgic and thought I’d post some of my thoughts from way back when, before marriage and Aric and adult responsibilities kicked in.

This post is from July 1, 2004. I was working as a waitress back home in the summer for some cash  (I didn’t start working during school until that fall). Please to be enoying:

Another one bites the dust

Just got back from a looooong night at work. As a general rule, Wednesday nights are supposed to be busy. But of course, not on the night Nicci works! Damn irony. I still made some good money. I had two tables tip me way more than 20%, which was awesome. That totally made up for the one guy that tipped me a quarter…bastard. Whatever, I’m pretty much over it.
Tim was supposed to find out about the job in Eau Claire today, but of course, they didn’t call. This is most likely because they have not yet made up their minds, but I’m getting anxious! My anxiety doen’t even compare to Tim’s I’m sure. Nonetheless, I wish they’d hurry up. I’m about ready to call in a mob hit on them if they don’t give him this job soon! Not that I can actually call up a mob hit……..or something less incriminating….

I’m finding this journal very addicting. I’m not sure why, but it feels good to just write stuff down. I mailed Tim’s bobble head doll today. I sold it on eBay for him so he could have some extra cash. We started the bidding at $20, and I ended up selling it for $53!! Then, while looking at other bobble heads on the market, I saw one of Kirby Puckett, my favorite Twin EVER! So I bid on it and ended up winning it for $8.52! So I got that in the mail today and that made me feel cool.
Before I wrap this entry up, I just wanted to say that I have two of the best friends ever. Kristin is absolutley amazing and is always there with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and a futon for me to freak out on. Even though we are far away from each other this summer, a phone call or quick email is never too much to do to talk to her! And of course, Timmy is awesome, but I already wrote about him!

OK, I’m going sleepy now. I have to get ready for my day with Timmy tomorrow. We’re gonna do something outside, so I’ll need to get my rest!

Yes. Selling a Bobble-head doll is TOTALLY blog-worthy material! Oy!

I think I might post more of these gems as the week goes on. It might be fun!!

Thank you for reading I’ve been blogging for EIGHT YEARS! from Changing the Universe. If you like what you read, come over and leave some comment love! And THANK YOU for being a subscriber! --Nicci

We took Aric on a bike ride to the playground the other day. He ran around and played, nothing unusual. When we had been there awhile, another little boy came with his mom to play. At first, Aric and the other boy were shy with each other – curious, but not sure what to do.

Then Aric got bored of being shy and went to play with the steering wheel on the playground. The other boy (I never did catch his name) slowly walked up the steps toward Aric, but stopped on the top step, still being shy.

That’s when Aric grew up before our eyes. He walked over, grabbed the little boy by the hand, and walked him over to the steering wheel to show him how it worked. When the other boy was appropriately playing with the wheel, Aric went on his way, across the bridge, through the tunnel, and down the slide.

Not long after, another boy stopped over, this one a little older. (“My name’s Jackson! I’m wearing shorts!”) Aric was a little bit intimidated by Jackson because of the age difference and because of how quickly Jackson was running around the playground. But then something clicked in Aric, and he started chasing him around, trying to be faster around the playground. It’s like this little competitive streak came out in him, and he needed to show that he could play just as well as Jackson could.

It was a big step for me. It was the first time I had actually seen Aric play “with” another kid (who wasn’t his cousin, anyway) as opposed to simply playing “next to” that kid. It was nice to see that kind of interaction. He’s growing, becoming his own kid. It’s possible that he’s like this in daycare, but it was a fun daddy moment to see it in person.

Back to that other little boy. He was climbing up the last of the steps to go down the slide when Aric went flying past him to go down first. Not quite grasping “taking turns” yet, but we’ll get there. Anyway, when Aric got down the slide, he turned around and put his arms out as if he was gonna catch the little boy as he came down. I know he was just mimicking what his dad and mom do when he goes down slides, but it was heartwarming to see him looking out for the other kid. He was making sure he was safe.

That, combined with helping the little boy with the steering wheel, made me feel good. He’s showing compassion for others, a willingness to help out. Some day, hopefully, Aric’s going to be a big brother, and it made me happy to see him already showing some of those caretaker traits at this young age. It made me think that whenever that day comes he’s gonna be a pretty cool big brother. And I’ll be a very proud daddy.

Thank you for reading At the playground from Changing the Universe. If you like what you read, come over and leave some comment love! And THANK YOU for being a subscriber! --Nicci

Where's Aric?

I WANT OUT, PEOPLE!!

I worry that he thinks the light is talking to him. He spends A LOT of time in front of that light.

How can this possibly be comfortable?

He prefers him and his bed things to be on the floor, thankyouverymuch!

Some quick housekeeping – Sunday is the last day to order from my shop to guarantee delivery for Mother’s Day! Use the code MOMSROCK and save 10%

Thank you for reading Wordless Wednesday: Webcam Edition from Changing the Universe. If you like what you read, come over and leave some comment love! And THANK YOU for being a subscriber! --Nicci

Last night I woke up at 1:11 am. For reasons I still don’t understand I checked my email. Then Facebook. No idea why. Then I rolled over and tried to fall back asleep.

That’s when my brain took over. I started thinking about school and Aric and Tim and my family and the house and the garden I want to plant and the still broken pipe and how much that will cost us and on and on and on.

It was then 2:15am. I was still awake. I tried some visualizations to try and clear my mind. I envisioned a giant metal plate smooshing all the thoughts in my head into flat pancakes, leaving behind nothing but grey matter.

I envisioned the grey matter and tried to quiet my mind….

… When the Big Brother couple from the Amazing Race appeared in my brain. So I envisioned myself traveling to whatever country they were in, slapping them in the face and telling them to shut up, I was trying to sleep.

Back to the grey matter….

…. Suddenly Nelly was there, in the empty grey matter, dancing around my brain singing “Hot in Herre.” And I couldn’t stop him.

It was now 3am. I’d been awake for a solid two hours. I couldn’t do it any more. I couldn’t get my brain to shut up. Nothing I tried quieted the raging brain. I even pictured my head hooked up to a bunch of EKG wires and picturing all the activity that was going on up in there.

Because I’d run out of ideas, and visualization/meditation was CLEARLY not working, I just stopped trying. I let go. I relaxed my control of my thoughts and just let them come. When my thoughts started becoming disjointed and nonsensical, I knew sleep was just around the corner.

I let go. I let go of the worries and the thoughts that had taken over my brain for the last two hours. I let go and allowed things to just happen naturally. I realized that I cannot have control over every thing that I’d like to.

I relinquished control, and found happiness. Also known as sleep, but, whatever

If that’s not a metaphor for life, I don’t know what is, HAHA!

When was the last time you let something go and found peace?

Thank you for reading Just Let Go from Changing the Universe. If you like what you read, come over and leave some comment love! And THANK YOU for being a subscriber! --Nicci