Last night I woke up at 1:11 am. For reasons I still don’t understand I checked my email. Then Facebook. No idea why. Then I rolled over and tried to fall back asleep.
That’s when my brain took over. I started thinking about school and Aric and Tim and my family and the house and the garden I want to plant and the still broken pipe and how much that will cost us and on and on and on.
It was then 2:15am. I was still awake. I tried some visualizations to try and clear my mind. I envisioned a giant metal plate smooshing all the thoughts in my head into flat pancakes, leaving behind nothing but grey matter.
I envisioned the grey matter and tried to quiet my mind….
… When the Big Brother couple from the Amazing Race appeared in my brain. So I envisioned myself traveling to whatever country they were in, slapping them in the face and telling them to shut up, I was trying to sleep.
Back to the grey matter….
…. Suddenly Nelly was there, in the empty grey matter, dancing around my brain singing “Hot in Herre.” And I couldn’t stop him.
It was now 3am. I’d been awake for a solid two hours. I couldn’t do it any more. I couldn’t get my brain to shut up. Nothing I tried quieted the raging brain. I even pictured my head hooked up to a bunch of EKG wires and picturing all the activity that was going on up in there.
Because I’d run out of ideas, and visualization/meditation was CLEARLY not working, I just stopped trying. I let go. I relaxed my control of my thoughts and just let them come. When my thoughts started becoming disjointed and nonsensical, I knew sleep was just around the corner.
I let go. I let go of the worries and the thoughts that had taken over my brain for the last two hours. I let go and allowed things to just happen naturally. I realized that I cannot have control over every thing that I’d like to.
I relinquished control, and found happiness. Also known as sleep, but, whatever
If that’s not a metaphor for life, I don’t know what is, HAHA!
When was the last time you let something go and found peace?