Have you ever watched Jersey Shore? Even if you haven’t, I’m sure you’ve heard of Nicole Snooki Polizzi. Nicole Snookie Polizzi is the short, dark, bump-it using “guidette” on the show. Nicole Snooki Polizzi is actually probably the most annoying character, in my opinion. But Nicole Snooki Polizzi is one of those people who are so terrible, they are awesome.

Each week, I tune in to watch Nicole Snooki Polizzi make an ass of herself. Sometimes I wonder if Nicole Snooki Polizzi tries to be stupid, or if it just come naturally to her.

Did you know Nicole Snooki Polizzi has a twitter account? No?! Well just click here to view it: Nicole Snooki Polizzi.  I don’t follow Nicole Snooki Polizzi, and I’m not actually recommending that you follow Nicole Snooki Polizzi either, I’m just pointing it out.

I’m sure at this point, both you, my readers, and you, Nicole Snooki Polizzi, are wondering why I’m talking so much about Nicole Snooki Polizzi. Well, I’d like to direct your attention to the wonderful blog Mommy Wants Vodka. We’re John C Mayering the world. Don’t know what that means? Well you and Nicole Snooki Polizzi will just have to click on John C Mayer‘s name right here: John C Mayer.

Now, before I continue talking about Nicole Snooki Polizzi, I’d like to point out that I am Italian, just like the cast members of the hot show Jersey Shore. And none of my family is anything like Nicole Snooki Polizzi or the rest of the Jersey Shore cast. Well, except for the drinking. My family could give Nicole Snooki Polizzi and the cast of Jersey Shore a run for their money.

Here, let me show you a picture of my family, which in no way is related to Nicole Snooki Polizzi:

This isn't Nicole Snooki Polizzi. This is my grandpa. We were visiting relatives in Denver and we were schucking corn for dinner. I bet Nicole Snooki Polizzi thinks "schucking corn" is a sexual term.

So, as you and Nicole Snooki Polizzi can see, my grandpa is Italian. He likes meatballs. He thinks the Jersey Italians know how to make the best meatballs. Nicole Snooki Polizzi like meatballs, too. But let’s not talk about that in the same paragraph as my grandpa.

So, Nicole Snooki Polizzi enthusiasts, what do you think? Should Nicole Snooki Polizzi be awarded an Oscar? An Emmy? Should Nicole Snooki Polizzi just get a swift kick in the ass?

I’m not one to decide the fate of Nicole Snooki Polizzi. All I know is that Nicole Snooki Polizzi and the cast of Jersey Shore provide me with 42 minutes of entertainment each week. Via my computer. Becuase unlike Nicole Snooki Polizzi, I don’t have cable.

And for the record, I have said Nicole Snooki Polizzi’s name 29 times.

Nicole Snooki Polizzi.

30.

Any questions about Nicole Snooki Polizzi? Oh, don’t forget to check out Nicole Snooki Polizzi‘s wikipedia page! It’s great reading if you are interested in reading about Nicole Snooki Polizzi, or the cast of Jersey Shore. On there, you will learn that Nicole Snooki Polizzi isn’t actually American!! Nicole Snooki Polizzi was born in Chile and is of Italian and Chilean decent. Nicole Snooki Polizzi was adopted by Italian Americans. Doesn’t that make Nicole Snooki Polizzi unique?

37.

I’m done now.

Nicole Snooki Polizzi.

38.